I'm Lost

I haven't been active lately with this blogs. I feel lazy and just try so hard to avoid doing necessary work. I would constantly kill time by just spacing out. I would feel so unproductive due to lack of discipline and motivation. Sometimes I feel like I'm disabled. I guess this goes to show disable as coming in various forms. I asked "How come I know what to do and yet I lack the capacity to perform such task?" and I was advised that it is a mind over matter. Easier said than done. I tried various approach such as thinking positive and negative about the matter, which I need to perform. I would think positive by understanding how easy it is to accomplish it and how I would feel after I get it done. In the negative side on the other hand I constantly remind myself what it would be like if I do not get it done. None of which are durable enough for me to use as a daily method to get me going. I feel that the ability and motivation will just come and all I can do is wait for it. When it does BOOM I will take every chance I get to take advantage of it. I do not think that I am disabled in that I cannot seem to do what I need to do, because at least I pause and think of a way to solve such matter. Many of those special individual takes advantage of the fact that the society views them as disabled and therefore acts as one.